Top 15 Strategies to Break Free From Loneliness and Embrace Happiness!
These are strategies that’ll be the difference between you remaining in loneliness and living a life filled with connections that you need and desire.
Roxane L. Goss
You’re a widow, who just lost her soul-mate and you’re now on the heart-wrenching journey through grief. The plans you had for your future are gone. All that hard work you put into your dream life with your love — gone.
Some days it’s so hard to even get out of bed, but life seems to keep moving on. Everyone else seems to be moving on, but you’re stuck feeling so lost, afraid and alone. You wonder how you’ll continue without your love. You feel as though there isn’t anyone you can talk to that understands.
I know this journey all too well and I’ve come out the other side.
Hi, I’m Roxane Goss.
I’m a grief coach who guides widows on their heart-wrenching journey through grief.
My clients feel unbearable pain, deep loneliness and a loss of purpose in their life. I help them feel at peace, heal from the pain and find new meaning so they can move forward to live a full life.
My Story through grief
I didn’t know it then, but it all began in my early 30’s when I lost my dad in a horrible accident. The night he got out of his car after going in the ditch in a blizzard. He died that night of hyperthermia. It took us a week digging in the snow to find him. I can’t begin to describe in words, what that was like.
I continued working in the technology field as I raised my family, always feeling like something just wasn’t right. Always feeling that I wasn’t living my passion or purpose. Life went on, I raised my family and continued on with the career I thought was meant for me. Never feeling fulfilled.
Then, 13 years later, that all changed. My world came tumbling down around me and I started another heart-wrenching journey. Another journey so scary and so difficult that I was sure I wouldn’t make it through. My husband died of a ‘widow’ maker heart attack. I wasn’t at all prepared for the places it took me.
It took me into the depths of an alcohol addiction. It was my way of coping, my way of numbing all the deep emotional pain. My way of running and hiding from all that I knew I needed to face. Not only did I have to work through the loss of my husband, I had to also work through the loss of my dad. It all seemed to be too much.
I experienced such deep emotional pain, anxiety, shock, numbness and a total disbelief that this was happening. It was beyond difficult to accept that my life was forever changed. Nothing was ever going to be the same. I had to face so much of this alone.
Who was going to fix the broken mower? Who was going to hold me while I cried endless hours? Who was going to fill that huge void that was left, leaving me so lonely and without purpose or meaning? Who the heck was I? It was always Roxie and Jeff, but who was Roxie without Jeff?
It took me 2 years to finally realize that I needed to get help for the drinking after trying to stop a few times on my own. I was beginning to lose one of my best friends. The one person that had always been there for me on this terrible grief journey. I guess I also just got tired of my life as it was. I got tired of being who I wasn’t. I got tired of running from the pain. I knew there was a better life out there and I was determined to find it.
I was so afraid. I was afraid of going to treatment, afraid of what other people were going to think, afraid of rejection and I was afraid of not going to treatment. I was so afraid. Fear can stop us in our tracks, but luckily, I came to the conclusion that I just needed to do it afraid. My life was a mess and I knew I had too many blessings to waste it any more. We only get one life and I wanted it to be the best it could be.
So, with fear as my companion, I reached out and got help for the drinking. Little did I know, that was the easy part. Once I was sober, I then had to face the deep emotional pain without any way to numb it. This began my journey through grief and brought me to where I am today – living my dream, happy, full of life and purpose.
Another new opportunity was on the horizon
After the total transformation I’d been through, I started questioning where I was and really what my passion and purpose were. I began to explore and get curious when the idea of Recovery Coaching came to mind.
After several months of doing solid research into exactly what a recovery coach does and all the certification programs out there, I decided I should really give this coaching thing a try. Now, several amazing programs later, I’m a Certified Recovery Coach.
As I explored who I wanted to help, I found that it was women in recovery who were experiencing loss. Still, something wasn’t just right. I dug deeper and found that I really wanted to guide other widows on this same journey of grief that I had been through. I took a certification course through the Grief Recovery Method and became Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and a Grief Coach. I’m loving every minute of it
Today, I’m honored to help widows find a way through
Today, I live in San Diego where the sun shines all the time. I spend time with my grandchildren that are only a few hours away, I love photography, time on the beach, staying fit and traveling.
I get to help guide amazing widows on their heart-wrenching journey through grief feel at peace, heal from the pain and find new meaning so they can move forward to live a full life. I love my work as a grief coach, and every day I’m thankful for the opportunities I have to make a heart-healing difference in my clients’ lives.
I’m not going to lie, it’s work that takes me right into the pain and wilderness of other’s soul, but it is the most rewarding work I have ever done…
I would love to hear from you! To learn more about how I can help you feel at peace, heal from the pain and find new meaning so you can move forward and live a full life, check out my Work With Me Page or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I provide grief coaching support via phone, text, email, Skype, FaceTime and smartphone apps, in addition to regular in-person meetings.
The Eleven Tenets of Companioning
Roxane uses eleven tenets of companioning.
Companioning is about…
- Being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking away the pain.
- Going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.
- Honoring the spirit; it is not about focusing on the intellect.
- Listening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head.
- Bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about judging or directing these struggles.
- Walking alongside; it is not about leading or being led.
- Discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it does not mean filling up every moment with words.
- Being still; it is not about frantic movement forward.
- Respecting disorder and confusion; it is not about imposing order and logic.
- Learning from others; it is not about teaching them.
- Curiosity; it is not about expertise.
The companioning model of bereavement care is pioneered by Dr. Alan Wolfelt of the Center for Loss and Life Transition.