Photographs and Memories

Photographs And Memories: How We Carry Our Loved Ones With Us

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Photographs and memories are all I have left of my beloved Jeff. All that I have to remind me of him. The man he was. The kind of husband, partner, friend and lover he was. I only have the memories to take me back to another day, a happier day.

Photographs and memories
Christmas cards you sent to me
All that I have are these to remember you
Memories that come at night
Take me to another time
Back to a happier day, when I called you mine
~Jim Croce

Those special moments just the two of us shared. Moments when no one else was around. And oh, the adventures we had. So many adventures. The weekends we spent talking, sharing dreams, gardening, fixing up our home. The trips to Minnesota to spend precious time with our family.

Moments of deep love, compassion and comfort.

The silly times. A time filled with laughter. The moments we spent on our boat – crabbing and fishing. I recall the time Jeff tried to teach me to drive and it brings both a giggle and a tear! Let’s just say the boat didn’t go straight.

It wasn’t just the good times either. It was the hard moments when we held each other up upon getting difficult news. When either of us was sick or had surgery. Has anyone stolen a popsicle for you from the hospital freezer? Yup, moments like that.

That very last moment. The one I didn’t know was our last.

I want to hold onto the memories, touch them, feel them. Keep them alive. All of them!

But we sure had a good time
When we started way back when
Morning walks and bedroom talks
Oh, how I loved you then
Summer skies and lullabies
Nights we couldn’t say goodbye
And of all of the things that we knew
Not a dream survived
~Jim Croce

As my journey through grief started, one of my biggest fears was that those memories would fade. That I would lose all those cherished moments.

Oh, how the thought of losing the memories also created a fear in me that I would somehow lose my connection with Jeff. That as time moved forward, all would be totally lost. Memories all gone. What a frightening thought.

In the beginning, I tried so hard to hold onto his voice. To recall all those precious words he said to me. I’d listen and listen, yet as time passed, his voice faded. Now I find it hard to grasp. Yet, once in a great while in the stillest of moments. I hear it. His voice becomes so very clear. I want to somehow pull it out of my mind and record it. So I can listen to it whenever I want.

Thankfully, not too long ago, I got my wish. I found a video recording of him from Christmas – only a few short months before he died. I listened to it over and over and over again. What a precious gift it is.

That recording reminded me that I have 8mm movie camera recordings from our wedding and honeymoon. I watched them once just a few months after Jeff died. Focusing so closely on him. Grasping at the sound of his voice – watching him laughing, smiling, breathing – living again.

It was just too much for my heart to bear. The ache was so deep I feared for my sanity. So, I put them away and have never listened to them again. Until now, I had totally forgotten about them. It’s been 9 years. My heart is now in a better place. I think it’s time to pull them out and watch them once again.

Will it hurt? Will I cry? Undoubtedly! Yet, I feel so excited to do so. I want to rush right out into my garage and get them. I want to be watching them right now. Right this very second.

Unfortunately, they are still on 8mm tapes. Which reminds me I need to have them copied onto DVD’s and stored in the ‘cloud’ so I can watch them anytime. Once they are in a form I can work with, I plan to take clips and make a digital memory movie.

You know, the photographs and memories, including the digital memories will always be something that I can look back on. Anytime I want to remember. In those times, when I need comfort and want to connect with Jeff. When I want to laugh and smile with him again. To go back to when we started.

It’s through photographs, movies, and audio clips of our loved ones that our memories will be prompted, allowing us to keep a strong connection to our loved one. I realize they all tell a story.  Our story. For that reason, I will forever cherish them.

Here’s the thing, our loved ones will forever live on in our hearts. They will live on in the stories we tell and in the lives we live.

Always remember, we carry our loved ones with us, even as we move forward.

How precious are photographs and memories!

Photographs and memories
All the love you gave to me
Somehow it just can’t be true
It’s all I’ve left of you
But we sure had a good time
When we started way back when
Morning walks and bedroom talks
Oh, how I loved you then
~Jim Croce

What Are Your Next Steps?


I can’t wait to hear your thoughts. How do your photographs and memories help you carry your loved one with you as you move forward? Please comment below.


I would love to hop on a short 20-minute call to help you find strategies that will assist you in carrying the connection with your loved with you as you forward. Simply fill out this form to let me know and let’s chat. It’s free! No selling! No Obligation!


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Roxane Goss

All stories by: Roxane Goss

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